Al Kyte's Life Take-Aways

     

Barbara and I were already leading a homeless outreach on the streets of Oakland when someone suggested I read the book, Beyond Charity, by John Perkins. This author was a black pastor from Mississippi who preached racial reconciliation. He taught that those involved in street ministry should stay with it long enough to see people lifted back up to the life God intended for them. Such restoration goes beyond charitable giving to helping people lift themselves up. I hadn’t seen much of that. It struck me as so important that I started expanding my volunteering to where I was more likely to see such restoration—in a drug recovery program.

So I began mentoring men who had been addicted to drugs, some of whom had unique stories that required different personal approaches. One such story started when I was assigned a man with an alcohol problem. I was informing him what my role as his spiritual mentor would be when he blurted out, “This won’t work for me. You’re too old.” As I was trying to figure out what to say about that, he added, “And I don’t like this hugging you do with the men in the program.” After asking him a few questions, I learned that his mother had married five times and her first four husbands had been completely irresponsible as fathers. And she was not very dependable either. Apparently the fifth husband tried to be a good father to the children but it was too late. No longer could they trust anyone much older than they were. I wondered if it would even be possible for me to gain this man’s trust.

Yet a year later his life had changed dramatically, and he was graduating from that recovery program. After I spoke that day on his behalf, he gave me the longest hug I have ever had. In his changes, he had not only come to trust an older person but had also become a hugger. It struck me that it’s often the small, consistent steps over time that help set the stage for big things to happen. And hugging a homeless or addicted person was important to me not only in embracing people dealing with shame, but also in representing God in His love for them.

The role of mentoring in restoration reminded me of coaching basketball.  I met men halfway through their lives and if this were a game they were well behind in the score.  When my basketball teams were behind at half time, I would give them a new game plan to try to snatch victory from defeat.  This recovery program was like a year-long, half-time game plan.

Romans 12:2 fit this situation well in its reminder not to be conformed to the ways of the world, but to be transformed to the ways of God—by renewing your mind. These men were all conformed to the self-serving thinking of drug-users, and our job was to help introduce them to a different, more outward way of thinking—God’s game plan. So each week we would do that by looking at various life situations. If, by the end of a year, a man had accepted God’s love and adopted His way of thinking and living, he had a good chance to lift himself up to a more productive life. Some of the men I mentored did just that. I have the utmost respect for anyone who has the determination and consistent focus to change long-established habits.

Mentoring was not something I had planned to do in life.  It was just one of many unexpected steps that seemed to evolve naturally from those that had come before.  Yet this was a step that added an important dimension to my life.

.